Revenge
Word From Wiese
August 12, 2026
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
— Ephesians 4:31–32
A grudge is heavy!
Next month, I’m going to meet up with a college buddy for some hiking in Colorado. Packing a backpack offering essentials without fatiguing weight is key to an enjoyable adventure up the mountain. Same dynamic for life. Too often, we ruin our days by not letting go of heavy burdens or grudges. We give up precious bandwidth we could be using to enjoy positive opportunities to fantasize a bit about how to secure revenge instead.
Maybe, at first, grudges seem justified. Someone has hurt us. They lied, betrayed, rejected, insulted, or wounded us. We replay the event, convinced that holding onto our anger somehow protects us. Yet Scripture points us in another direction. Not to ignore the injustice, but to keep both our physical and human hearts healthy.
When I drive to church on Sunday mornings, often I’m catching the tail end of a radio program usually featuring a faith story.
A few weeks ago, James Kimmel Jr., now a researcher at Yale Medical School, shared how he almost became a murderer at seventeen. After years of bullying, his family’s dog was shot and killed, and later the same bullies blew up the family mailbox. Enraged, Kimmel grabbed a loaded revolver and chased them through the night. Eventually, he cornered them on a farm. They were trapped and unarmed.
Then, in a split second, he saw his future. If he pulled the trigger, he would become a killer, and his own life would be destroyed as well. Most likely years in jail. He lowered the gun, turned away, and went home. That decision determined the direction of his life.
Years later, Kimmel devoted his career to studying revenge and forgiveness. His research found that emotional wounds activate many of the same brain centers as physical pain. Even more surprising, thoughts of revenge can briefly stimulate the brain’s reward system, creating a temporary emotional high. But the relief quickly fades, often leaving us wanting another chance to settle the score.
A real danger is that resentment can become addictive.
I love it when science explains in new language what we’ve known all along as people of faith. Indeed, the Bible described this reality of “resentment addiction” long before neuroscience. Hebrews warns us not to let “a bitter root” grow up and defile many (Hebrews 12:15). Like a hidden root beneath the soil, bitterness can spread into marriages, friendships, churches, workplaces, and families.
Jesus understood this danger. When Peter asked how many times he should forgive someone who repeatedly sinned against him, Jesus answered, “Seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22). Forgiveness isn’t merely a one-time decision. It is a spiritual practice we may have to choose again and again.
As we’ve heard so often, but need to be reminded continually, forgiveness does not mean pretending evil never happened.
It does not excuse sin, eliminate consequences, or always require reconciliation. Healthy boundaries and accountability still matter.
Forgiveness means releasing our desire to personally settle the score.
We entrust justice to God rather than carrying it ourselves. Paul writes, “Do not take revenge… but leave room for God’s wrath” (Romans 12:19). Every time we cling to revenge, we remain tied to the person who hurt us. Every time we forgive, those chains begin to loosen.
Is there a grudge you’re carrying around in your daily backpack? Maybe the wound is recent. Maybe it happened decades ago. Could you try offering that story to Jesus when you pray? You don’t have to deny your pain or minimize the wrong. Simply ask Christ to help you let go your desire for revenge and begin the healing he’s willing to help you accomplish.
As Christians, we believe the cross reminds us that forgiveness always comes at a cost. Jesus absorbed our sin rather than retaliating against us. While nails pierced his hands, he prayed, “Father, forgive them.” Because we have received such extravagant mercy, we can extend mercy to others…and ourselves as well, as we let go of the weight of grudges and seeking revenge. Yes, we believe that forgiveness may not change the person who hurt us. But through God’s grace, it can change us.
Questions for Reflection
- Is there someone or something I continue to replay in my mind, allowing resentment to shape my thoughts or relationships? Do I ever daydream about revenge or getting back at people?
- What step can I take today to entrust this hurt to Christ and begin practicing forgiveness?
In Christ’s hope,
Pastor Fritz
Let us pray.
Gracious God, you know the wounds and frustrations I carry. Help me release my desire for revenge and place my hurts in your hands. Heal my heart, soften my anger, and teach me the hard lesson to forgive as I have been forgiven through Jesus Christ. Help me put down the weight of grudges to be freed up for a more flexible and joy-focused life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
